minus one this year

there are so many different ways i have thought about giving up my rights since Carrie's post last month. my rights to my own plans and timing, to a relationship, to little comforts like hot showers that i don't really need, to friendships that feel uncomfortable sometimes.. these are all things that the Lord has been asking me specifically to loosen my grip on these past few months. i so often live my life believing that i deserve much.. for my heat to work right, because i pay for it don't i? or for life to be work on the timeline that i planned out in my head, because i simply know best for myself. or for no one to ask me to do anything extra because my weeks are already busy enough, how could i fit something else in that i didn't think of on my own? ..all these things keep me from knowing the fullness and goodness of a life with Christ.
and i'm seeing that we choose to give up our rights to all the things we hold close.. we choose to know Him more and more.
i want that.

most people know that this Christmas season is different for me because my beauty of a little sister isn't here this year. what does this have to do with giving up your rights? well.. as i've entered into the Christmas season this year, i've realized that the Lord is asking me to give up my rights to my sister. maybe that sounds a little bit weird.. but a part of me would like to sit around and mourn the fact that she isn't here sitting in her bed beside me right now as i write this blog. she wasn't there to light a candle with me at church tonight and she won't get to help me pick out books with our kindle gift cards tomorrow. she won't be helping my mom in the kitchen {which means i get to do extra ha ha}, she won't be yelling at my dad to stop eating junk all day, or rolling her eyes at spenser for making obnoxious noises all day. i miss her SO MUCH.

it would be so easy to get caught up in those memories and be so sad.. but then i remember where she IS. she IS in malls and schools telling the people of hong kong about jesus. she IS walking the streets of the redlight district offering hope in the most hopeless of places. she IS with a team of really incredible people that are all running hard after the same thing.. jesus.

and that's how i know that God is asking me to give Carrie to Him this weekend. i want to think of her with so much joy and not sadness. i dont NEED her to be here with me. people who don't know.. who have never heard the gospel? they need my sister to tell them.

i went to a nativity play a few weeks ago and there was one part that stuck out to me. all the townspeople were coming to see baby jesus in the manger.. crowds and crowds of them.. and a tiny little child came running through the crowds.. he ran and ran until he got up to the manger and peered right in. that's how i see my sister- running to the feet of jesus in eager anticipation and surrendering her rights to Him. and that's how i want to be too. i hope you take time to run to jesus this christmas day {and every day!}

merry christmas.

running through my head today

 

something beautiful

andrea marie

we're all rubies in the dust
waiting to be seen
waiting to be clean
just longing to be free

so pick up your head
i am your friend
i have seen you in the darkness
all that you've don't understand
i will take and make into..
something beautiful

you've made yourself a home
in answers you don't know
with the questions you can't find
trying to live a different life

i have kept you
i will help you to pick up your head
for i am your friend
i have not left you to yourself
i will show you
for i have sown you into my side
and made you into..
something beautiful

{i adore you i adore you i adore you.. i just cant help adore you.. i adore you}

we're all rubies in the dust
we are waiting to be seen
we're waiting to be clean
we are longing to be free