feet on the ground

There is nothing like stepping out of the airport into Vietnam. Immediately your nose is greeted with the smell of trash, humidity, rice, and motorbike fumes all mixed together. Most who smell it would crinkle their nose in digust, but to me it smells like home. There are people everywhere- waiting for someone.. waiting for no one.. I'm not sure, but it makes me feel famous every time I walk into the crowd with my weary feet and heavy backpack.

For the 1st time of the many that I have stepped out of that airport, I didn't feel the huge thrill of excitement or rush of nerves that I normally feel. Instead I just smiled with peace. So very clearly the Lord has determined my steps over the past 9 years of traveling to Asia.. and I am so ready for this month to come.

Caitlyn and I made it into Vietnam last night, slept for a few hours, and hopped on the bus to Cambodia this morning. We ate our first Cambodian meal for dinner (and I liked it!) and are sitting on the roof of our hostel enjoying the cool breeze together. I can't imagine anywhere else I'd rather be at the moment.

view from the roof of our hostel

To those of you that sent me off with letters, texts, voicemails & phone calls- I am so grateful. Your encouraging words gave me life and strength through long travel. Thank you! God truly gives me more than I deserve through you. :)

    "You go before me and follow me. 

You place Your hand of blessing on my head. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!" 

psalm 149

More to come soon..

Will you walk with me?

down streets that are dusty, as motorbikes zoom by, past fruit markets and rice stands..
Will you walk with me? 
into a country where just 30 years ago, civil war broke out and 1/4 of the population was killed.. 20,000 people. Mostly the educated and well-off.  A whole generation erased.
Will you walk with me?
through villages where families are selling children into sex-trafficking because they are that desperate. It is becoming normal.
Will you walk with me?
as I explore a dream God has so clearly planted in my heart- to open homes for children at-risk in Cambodia, to raise them up in a family where they are being taught the gospel and will one day be leaders in their communities, villages, in their country..all for the glory of Christ.

 

On June 27, my friend Caitlyn Chesney and I will be boarding a plane headed for Cambodia to begin exploring the possibility of opening Homes of Love Cambodia. We hope to spend some time shadowing an organization that is already established in-country, as well as meet with as many people working there as we can! There is so much to learn, decisions to make, and relationships to build. Caitlyn and I feel so unworthy of the task before us, yet so excited to be a small part of God's heart for His children.. and what beautiful children they are!

Caitlyn & I, Cambodia 2011

The last 2 weeks of our trip will be spend in a neighboring country that I have visited many times. :) We will join our church for the camp they put on every year for the HOL children there, and then we will travel around and do some interviews with the children & parents in their homes. It is always so special to set foot into the homes and be treated like family- I can't wait!

dinner in a home

There is nothing I would love more than for you to walk with me as I go to Cambodia and Vietnam this summer. If you want to get emails every time I update my blog, you can click "join this site" to the right.


You can also walk with me through prayer.  Pray..

-for favor with the people we are meeting with- both Cambodians and internationals working on the ground there
-for me as I walk into dark places again. My last trip there was very emotionally challenging for me and I want to be able to push through the emotions of what is around me so that I can effectively accomplish what I'm there to do.
-for clear minds and wisdom as we seek the Lord's heart for Homes of Love Cambodia
-for safe travel and good health

"but forget all that- it is nothing compared to what i am going to do. for i am about to do something new. see, i have already begun! do you not see it? i will make a pathway through the wilderness. i will create rivers in the dry wasteland." 

isaiah 42:18-19

steps

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

-Henry David Thoreau

i hope my path in Asia becomes so deep over the years that you couldn't miss it if you tried.

i hope my thoughts are evident through my words and actions- and that they reflect the heart of Christ.

nothing to do with asia :)

i was spending time with my friend Demetria the other day, who has walked with me through the past 8 years of my life..and in all her love for me she was letting me have a small pity party in her living room. :) this has been a challenging year for me for so so many reasons, and our conversation went something like "i can't have one more hard conversation, make one more big decision, think about my future, miss someone else.. this year has just been too much for me. i am weary of it." while i was going on and on, Demetria just sat there quietly watching me- until finally i stopped talking, looked at her and said.. "i signed up for this didnt i?"   ..when i said yes to following Christ, i said yes to becoming more like Him. that means every thing, every relationship, every decision i make is subject first to Him.
my prayers often sound something like "God i want to be more like you. i want to know you more. i want my character to reflect yours." but in my flesh i forget that to actually gain those things it requires walking through hard moments- dying to self- letting go of plans i make for my life. so when i actually have to do the hard things, which lately is more often than not, it's easy to forget that i asked for it and it's for my good.
this year i have been so guilty of thinking- if i can just survive this year.. if i can just make it to summer.. when my sister gets home..when i go to cambodia.. it will all get better & i won't feel half crazy anymore. but that's not true. because if you and i are seeking and asking to be more like Christ- we are constantly surrendering ourselves to Him.  my dad once told me that truly good things are always hard, and i think he's right. the good things we gain from Christ- Christ himself, wisdom, hope, grace, righteousness.. and on and on.. those things are not easy to grasp onto. but man they are so worth the hard we walk through to get there.


i have found myself praying this prayer lately & thought i would share it. may it draw you to surrender all of your self to our Lord.

You, O Christ, are my wealth.  All those things I thought I couldn't live without "dissolve" in a glance from you.  They are nothing when considered in the larger light of your intimate presence.  How difficult it has been to come to this moment!  The moment of letting go!  I. who have learned so well to hoard, grasp, clutch, and control!  Now I want only to be grasped by you.  All my possessions are empty when they become obstacles to my union with you.  O Glance of God, prepare my heart for the Great Surrender.  Enable me to surrender my ego self so that I may put on Christ.  Then I will begin enjoying heaven on earth.  Amen. (Abide by Macrina Wiederkehr)   

stolen from here :)

in other unrelated news.. guess who's coming home TOMORROW?! GLORY GLORY!

i hurt too.

for some reason tonight, i felt like sharing a video of southeast asia that caitlyn's brother nathan put together.. maybe i'm just missing pork & rice a lot :) or maybe God has my heart there for a reason, not sure.

there are a few reasons i love this video. one of them is because every time i watch i forget that my feet are currently planted in america and for a few minutes i'm back there again. i smell the dirt and trash, i feel the heat, it's all SO real to me for a moment. i love it i love it i love it.

another reason i love this video is because it's such a vivid reminder that people are hurting in this world. every shot, every picture, every angle shouts out of another's pain or suffering. PEOPLE NEED JESUS. the precious people in asia need the truth of the Gospel so much- they are trying to fill their loneliness with false gods, idols, evil evil things like sex and the trafficking of others, economic prosperity.. sometimes i just get overwhelmed with it all.

last reason i love this video? because God, in all His goodness and mercy and compassion, knows every single child's name in that video. while you and i see beautiful faces, God sees a name and a heart and a story. how incredible that our God comes down to be with us and know us that way.

"..I would not forget you! see, I have written your names in the palm of My hand." isaiah 49

minus one this year

there are so many different ways i have thought about giving up my rights since Carrie's post last month. my rights to my own plans and timing, to a relationship, to little comforts like hot showers that i don't really need, to friendships that feel uncomfortable sometimes.. these are all things that the Lord has been asking me specifically to loosen my grip on these past few months. i so often live my life believing that i deserve much.. for my heat to work right, because i pay for it don't i? or for life to be work on the timeline that i planned out in my head, because i simply know best for myself. or for no one to ask me to do anything extra because my weeks are already busy enough, how could i fit something else in that i didn't think of on my own? ..all these things keep me from knowing the fullness and goodness of a life with Christ.
and i'm seeing that we choose to give up our rights to all the things we hold close.. we choose to know Him more and more.
i want that.

most people know that this Christmas season is different for me because my beauty of a little sister isn't here this year. what does this have to do with giving up your rights? well.. as i've entered into the Christmas season this year, i've realized that the Lord is asking me to give up my rights to my sister. maybe that sounds a little bit weird.. but a part of me would like to sit around and mourn the fact that she isn't here sitting in her bed beside me right now as i write this blog. she wasn't there to light a candle with me at church tonight and she won't get to help me pick out books with our kindle gift cards tomorrow. she won't be helping my mom in the kitchen {which means i get to do extra ha ha}, she won't be yelling at my dad to stop eating junk all day, or rolling her eyes at spenser for making obnoxious noises all day. i miss her SO MUCH.

it would be so easy to get caught up in those memories and be so sad.. but then i remember where she IS. she IS in malls and schools telling the people of hong kong about jesus. she IS walking the streets of the redlight district offering hope in the most hopeless of places. she IS with a team of really incredible people that are all running hard after the same thing.. jesus.

and that's how i know that God is asking me to give Carrie to Him this weekend. i want to think of her with so much joy and not sadness. i dont NEED her to be here with me. people who don't know.. who have never heard the gospel? they need my sister to tell them.

i went to a nativity play a few weeks ago and there was one part that stuck out to me. all the townspeople were coming to see baby jesus in the manger.. crowds and crowds of them.. and a tiny little child came running through the crowds.. he ran and ran until he got up to the manger and peered right in. that's how i see my sister- running to the feet of jesus in eager anticipation and surrendering her rights to Him. and that's how i want to be too. i hope you take time to run to jesus this christmas day {and every day!}

merry christmas.

running through my head today

 

something beautiful

andrea marie

we're all rubies in the dust
waiting to be seen
waiting to be clean
just longing to be free

so pick up your head
i am your friend
i have seen you in the darkness
all that you've don't understand
i will take and make into..
something beautiful

you've made yourself a home
in answers you don't know
with the questions you can't find
trying to live a different life

i have kept you
i will help you to pick up your head
for i am your friend
i have not left you to yourself
i will show you
for i have sown you into my side
and made you into..
something beautiful

{i adore you i adore you i adore you.. i just cant help adore you.. i adore you}

we're all rubies in the dust
we are waiting to be seen
we're waiting to be clean
we are longing to be free